From a Different Angle

Bumping your head on the same spot  and expecting a different result is


We have been bumping our heads about addiction for such a long time that we don’t even know why we are still doing it.


And we are still doing it. Society swears by the AA and NA 12 step plan although we all know what the percentage of success is.


When referring to any kind of addiction, it is important to recognize that its cause is not simply a search for pleasure and that addiction has nothing to do with one’s morality or strength of character. Experts debate whether addiction is a “disease” or a true mental illness, whether drug dependence and addiction mean the same thing, and many other aspects of addiction.

However, most addictive behavior is not related to either physical tolerance or exposure to cues. People compulsively use drugs, gamble, or shop nearly always in reaction to being emotionally stressed, whether  they have a physical addiction or not. If you could think about a baby and their dummy. That child is going and growing through a stage of insecurity and stress. Try to take the dummy away…. Addiction.

There are more than 230 different addictions at last count. So do you have an addictive personalty? No, I don’t believe that you do. Human beings are wired to seek out pleasure and change their behavior when they don’t feel happy with their emotional well being.

So, if you snort coke or drink it, it doesn’t matter. As long as it makes you feel better than what you felt 10 minutes ago. If you smoke marijuana or Stuyvesant you are still addicted. You believe and are convinced that you will feel better after you have used or have done this. You actually do feel better, however will fall back into this prison in your mind.Till you use again or till you can replace this “addiction” with another addiction.

Maybe we should  look at addiction and specifically drug addiction from a different angle. Should we rather not look at the causes instead of bumping our heads against the consequences.

What about Trust

One of the major issues parents and loved ones of addicts have is trust.

It is understandable that they cannot trust these individuals. They were lied too, manipulated, stolen from and even had to bail their children out from police custody, not once but plenty of times. I have spoken to lots of parents and all of them are broken, sad and very angry. Nobody could blame them.

As a counselor I believe that the parents are part of this problem and therefor it is crucial that they should attend the classes of the Out Patient Drug Rehab Program to teach and guide them through these trying times.

 How long does a person in recovery have to be clean before he/she could be trusted?

That is a very difficult question. Very few parents can answer this. The normal answer is usually a negative “Never”. That is the easy way out or perhaps because they just don’t know or care. They are tired of listening to good intentions and empty promises.

Contrary to popular believe trust is not earned.

Trust is given. You should give this person your trust. He will mess up in the process, but after the third time the mindset will change. 

This trust is the lifeblood of your child’s recovery. Without this trust no person will be able to make a full recovery, however I have seen some remarkable recoveries by people whose loved ones give them their trust.

Our Addictive Society

“There is no particular virtue in doing things the way they have always been done. Sometimes breaking rules, initiating a revolution in our life and overthrowing the tired patterns that are keeping us stagnant is the most sensible way to go.” that is according to John Kehoe award winning author of Mind Power into the 21st century.

My understanding about this is: By breaking the rules you will break habits.

Now, would it be possible that our modern society can break this age old rules about addiction and be able to move forward without the addiction label?

The concept of addiction is used as a fear tactic, on everything from video games to smart phones and beyond. You control people by Fear.

Perhaps we should start contemplating the meaning of our societies -addiction – to addiction terminology.

 The numbers of things that we are potentially at risk of becoming addicted to, is a staggering list of 230+ different addictions.  This excludes things like alcohol, drugs (illegal and legal), caffeine and nicotine. That makes me wonder if there is anything out there that is not seen as potentially addictive.

The true meaning of this never-ending list of pseudo-addictions is that society IS addicted all right, to the concept of addiction itself. Once, addiction meant only a few things. But our tolerance grew, and society needed more and more addictions to feed our cravings. If we try to stop, we go into withdrawal, unable to find any way to distract ourselves from responsibility, unable to avoid the consequences of our choices. Every time a new technology surfaces, we use it to the point of self-destruction, and then label it as addictive to try to regain some control over our use of the technology. We use the concept of addiction more every day, despite our growing knowledge that it is destroying our culture, our legal system, our ability to hold ourselves responsible. Our brains are changed, affected by the neurochemical rushes we get, from seeing people on television, their lives destroyed by their addictions. We get that rush from the voyeuristic insight into the suffering of others, from the joy and jealousy of watching the mighty fall, and from the relief that it’s not us up there.

We do live in an “addictive culture.” The addiction lies in our society’s desire to label our behaviors as addictive and compulsive.

This I would like to ask, “Where is the 12 step program that our society can attend, to confess its powerlessness over this addiction to addiction.”

The media, churches and government uses the concept of addiction to create moral panics, triggering fear and anxiety into parents and society. Most parents have never even seen illegal drugs. They are so fearful and paranoid about this illegal drugs that they will easily spend R 30,000 to R 50,000 to get their children rehabilitated, to no avail. Society uses the concept of addiction to justify laws and restrictions and giving young children criminal records, putting them in jail, destroying their lives forever.

Before you go on another march against drugs, or decide to throw your child out in the street, please think.

 I hope you enjoyed this post.  Please feel free to leave your comment in the comment section. We will do our best to send you a personal and prompt reply.

Welcome to Impact Foundation

Warm greetings to all.

This blog is to hopefully educate society a new perspective on raising of their children, understanding relationships and everything about addiction.

 Impact Foundation was established in 2018 by two passionate people, namely Charlene Dearling and Martin Gouws. The lack of resilience in people ignited a spark within them to start this organisation.  With 35 years’ experience in Counselling, Motivating and Facilitating, they strongly believe that without Knowledge, people perish. Thus, our services to provide the necessary skills and coping mechanisms to build a RESILIENT future community and society members.